The Fire
by DreamingRealist
Summary: House noticed that he did wrong on Cuddy multiple times and decided to follow and instinct; yet in time? The feelings of the story get supported and clarified the the lyrics "The Fire" by sons of midnight.


_**Disclaimer:**__ This song fiction is a crossover of the TV show "House M. D." and the song "The Fire" by sons of midnight. I do __**not**__ own any rights on any fictional character, action of lyric. It all contains to it´s creators! I neither get paid for this story nor is it my intention. The following text is just a fan work, I hope everyone enjoys and no one wants to kill me for. ;) BTW, English is not my native language, so please don´t judge me too hard. ;)_

**The Fire**

Chaos – an integral chaos. It was the only condition that was running through his mind since the argument with Lisa Cuddy several hours ago. Again and again the scene in her office, the predicted words haunted his thoughts. Nevertheless he didn´t have a clue how it got so far. It wasn´t about that he was bothered by their little discussions - not at all. Often he even enjoyed to lure the otherwise mostly prudent clinic boss out of her reserve. He exactly knew that she only acted her strict nature on him, so that he wouldn´t take a step too far with his -for outstanding persons- often arbitrary theories and actions. It wouldn´t be a matter to himself, if he could thereby solve a medical mystery – the only activity which usually was able to give him some kind of self-satisfaction. It has become an everlasting game between them – the supervisor that tried to lead House and his Team with the necessary discipline and the Diagnostician that defied her repeatedly for various reasons. Yes, he loved their little disputes that gave a little spice to his otherwise so boring everyday routine and also kept a certain fire between them burning.

_Send out an SOS, come save me from this mess... that I'm in  
You rule with iron fist, I'm still here in spite of this... to light the flame  
Let's keep it burning close forever, keep the life we have together  
And someday when it's grey and colder, you'll think back to what I told ya  
What I told ya_

But this argument was different. It was discharged on a personal level, with words that hurt, hurt both sides, deep and inevitable. Everything started again with the inability to show his feelings but this time it was more profound than ever before. She wanted a decision of him, a decision that both of their lives – their _conjointly_ life would define in a new way, far about their professional boundary. It was the only decision he feared the consequences, not for his sake but rather because of the danger to might hurt her, like he always did with persons he cared about. It was for sure that it would be just a question of time until it would happen, therefore he knew himself too well. Meanwhile he was a genius on the base of rationality, so he was the complete opposite on the emotional level. Even in those moments he admitted to wish for a life together with Cuddy, he wasn´t able to clarify his decision. Instead he kept involving her in his little daily games to keep the fire alive and have through that what -for him- a relationship probably came the closest.

_That you are the fire, baby, the fire  
And I don't need no water, and I don't need no water  
You are the fire, baby, the fire  
And I don't need no water, no I don't need no water from you_

He was aware that she didn´t believe his prevarications, she already knew him too long for that. Even if it wasn´t difficult for him to usually lure her and his employees on the wrong track for a little self-amusement, so this was a point he would have liked to stay honest. But how should he have be able to explain that it wasn´t something more than chasing a fantasy to assume that he wouldn´t hurt her in the end? He held the dispenser with the -to him- so familiar content tightly clasped in his hand since he arrived home, still sitting motionless on the couch. He stopped counting how many times his "continually companion", how he called the Aerosol his self affectionate, exempted him of painful feelings which went far beyond the physical. The constant corporal pain that persisted incessantly since the infarct in his leg was only one site of the coin. But even if he mostly managed it to keep off the problems of everyday life, there were nevertheless a few situations he couldn´t fight the induced negative feelings of the outside world. Cuddy was definitely one of those weak points in his otherwise so rational and mellow world. His thoughts still revolved around the dispute in her office, evaluating every possible option in his very own way, while fearing to choose the wrong decision once again. He was aware that there wasn´t a way back to the daily routine after today´s debate, this chance he had gambled by getting up on her accusations after his unsuccessful joke. If he was true to himself, he couldn´t imagine a life without their discussions about principles and trivialities, even more, he couldn´t imagine a life without _her_. Maybe this one moment, this brief second of realization has been the decisive factor, that suddenly made him lay down the dispenser, get up off his couch by a for the eye invisible impulse, before limping as fast as is leg allowed to the apartment door.

_I don't wanna lie to you, but I'm chasing shadows too... in the dark  
You are the reason why, I can't let this fire die... in my heart  
I'll keep it burning close forever, keep the life we have together  
And someday when it's grey and colder, you'll think back to what I told ya  
What I told ya_

The way to her house he rode on his motorcycle as leaded by remote control. Probably he drove a lot too fast for this time and the weather conditions but he didn´t care. He had deliberately chosen this route to avoid the traffic lights of the city – to arrive at his destination faster, so that he won´t have a chance to turn within the last minutes by an escape reflex. He tried to suppress the thought about the possible scenarios of the upcoming conversation, if it would come that far at all and she would let him in. To reach her house was his only current purpose, regardless what was happening next. He needed to see her, needed to talk to her - somehow. He didn´t know what he might say or what he should do, but for some reason it was irrelevant at this moment. Something would happen sooner or later, because eventually, there´s a reaction to every action how the natural science teaches. Involuntarily he accelerated once more to make the final distance until her home in even less time. Yes, he had to see her as quickly as possible, it was his only purpose.

_That you are the fire, baby, the fire  
And I don't need no water, and I don't need no water  
You are the fire, baby, the fire  
And I don't need no water, no I don't need no water from you_

A last breath before he knocked against her door, before there wouldn´t be a way of turning back to leave unnoticed in the dark. He already stood for several minutes close to her house, deliberative, whether to go this final step irrevocably or not. His mind was again in conflict with his heart but something made him finally slowly go to her entrance. A last breath before he raised his hand and eventually knocked twice in a determined way against the white wood. Inside he was able to hear the faint voices of the TV, the slowly approaching steps, until the door got opened and he saw into the entrained-looking face of his boss. She cried - that was for sure. The tired and still glassy glance revealed this fact without a doubt. This aspect, along with the knowledge that obviously he was the reason, suddenly gave him a more painful feeling that any withdrawal symptoms of Vicodin could ever do. Still they both remained silent, presumably no one of them knew what to say, when she finally broke the silence with a simple "I´m tired and don´t have the desire to fight some more House." The resignation in her voice was unmistakable, which was confirmed by a feeble, slight shake of her head. Probably she genuinely got to the point of breaking up ultimately with him today. He recognized the slowly closing door while he still wasn´t able to reply a single word, until the last snap of the lock finally broke his rigid. "No", a simple "no" was the first word that made it out of his mouth, before he once again –this time more intense- started knocking against the barrier. "It can not end like this." Meanwhile he didn´t even know if he was still talking to himself or trying to reach her. With an urgent "Cuddy, please open up", he continued his knocking, however, he didn´t receive anything else than the persisting silence from the inside. Probably it wasn´t her intention to open him again. A try, one last try, before he would give up and leave her alone. One more breathe before he knocked once more. "You know I can keep going like this all night, no matter what your neighbours might say." _-Silence-_ "If you really want it that way, well okay, it´s fine with me." The sound of his voice echoed increasingly getting louder through the quiet street, which most residents seemed to sleep already. "Okay, so everyone listen up", he continued his call, almost shouting the next words: "I, Gregory House, am an idiot. I´m a cripple, not only on a physical but also on an emotional base. I keep pushing away the persons that mean the most to me and hurt them because I´m afraid to get hurt myself." Another breath before he continued: "Yes, you got it, I´m afraid! I´m afraid, that somebody gets too close to me. I´m afraid to let someone in and the only woman who means more to me than my own life, I have lost by my stupid-selfish acting." Another moment of silence in which he wasn´t able to hear a single noise from the inside. Presumably he was right about the last part of his sentence and he lost her for good. He played his last hand but the chance has faded away because he realized too late that Cuddy should have been worth any risk to be taken earlier. He already was about to leave, when suddenly the door opened. With a disbelievingly gaze he looked into Lisa´s face, on which a few single tears made their way down her cheeks. Once again he was unable to speak before finally a simple "I love you" made it out of his mouth. He wasn´t sure if she got the meaning of it at all, while she still stood endless seemingly seconds motionless in the frame, before she surprisingly came up with the words: "Can we maybe go on with this conversation in here, _without_ that the whole street is able to listen?" Unexpectedly he saw her take a step aside, however, not to stop him with a flick from entering. "You know that if you come in now, you will not leave again - neither tonight, nor any other." Once more there was this stern look in her eyes that this time wasn´t feigned. He realized the seriousness of her statement, the finality of his last chance, before he nodded and stepped in with the words "neither this, nor another night."

_So come on baby, we are special  
I'll do everything to keep it alive in your eyes  
Just tell me baby, you won't leave me  
You jus__t say that you're gonna be here tonight  
We´ll survive  
_

_You are the fire, baby, the fire  
And I don't need no water, no I don't need no water from you  
Send out an SOS, come save me from this mess..._

Lyrics **"The Fire" **by Conrad Sewell – **sons of midnight**  
Have a listen, they are worth it! :)

Your´s Daniela (Candra1983)


End file.
